Who gets the lay in?

Having a baby is amazing but of course it comes hand in hand with lack of sleep, a messy house and a routine that needs to be established. When your baby is first born, you are swept up into this magical world and nothing else matters apart from the new baby, existing siblings and you. However, when the working parent returns to work it can create much debate within the house. Who is responsible for the night feeds?

In the UK, Mothers are statistically more likely to stay at home to provide care to their offspring whilst the father returns to work after a short time span (averagely two weeks). Working a full time job is far easier than looking after a child at home all day. It may be surprising to some people  but when you stay at home you do not get a lunch break, you do not have a commute where you can just think and sit down, you can not go to the toilet as you please and you do everything one handed with a baby on your hip. Being a stay at home parent is a tiring role but let me emphasis how great it is too. You get to learn about your baby, you get to understand your babies personality and their dislikes and likes. You get to know your baby incredibly well and to be honest there is nothing else like it.

Nevertheless, staying at home is admittedly hard work and tiring and this is why I think that night feed should be shared between parents (unless you breast feed). I hear far too many times, oh I do the night feeds because he/she works and he/she will be at work tired. Excuse me, going to work is a complete doddle compared to tending to a baby all day; the parent who stays at home needs a break just as much as the parent who goes to work.

I think that people have this misconstrued idea of stay at home parents. When I left on maternity leave, colleagues said “oh I am so jealous, a whole year off”. Lets set this straight, I am not working but I am not at home relaxing. I am eyeballed up in baby nappies, dirty bottles and struggle to find the time to put my makeup on (all of which I was aware of before I got pregnant). Maternity leave is not a holiday, it is the time you get to bond with your baby and to learn everything about them. But, it is a tiring experience, so having a little help with the night feeds would be much appreciated. If your partner, thinks that because they are working it gives them a hall pass for a eight hour sleep every day I would like to disagree.

What you do guys think?



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    • Yasmin
    • October 24, 2017

    Love your blog!!! I 100 percent agree. I have 4 under 5 and my partner works long hours 6 days a week. We have a 3 month old buba and when she was born i was doing all the night feeds. This was actually the first time i had ever taken on that responsibility and it was because i wanted to do everything for my daughter! (She is our only girl) after 1 week i was COMPLETELY worn out and we starter taking it in turns to wake up with her. Now he gets up everynight with her if she wakes up. She is a very good baby and actually sleeps well and is never really awake at night she has 1 bottle then is striaght back to sleep. He has always gotten up in the night with our children and then gone to work at 6am. Im so glad you said that about the journey to work because i ALWAYS say that to my boyfriend lol. I think whatever works for you really… im just happy i get to sleep 🙂 xx

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