So this year has been very difficult. Starting my new course has been much more difficult than I anticipated. Although I studied psychology modules in my undergrad, it was completely different information in comparison to the Psychology modules I am studying now. This year has included learning how to use new software and also using lots of numbers and formulas. Quite a lot of the time I have felt so lost and have struggled to understand what is required of me. Luckily, I have found some nice friends and I have realised I am not the only one feeling like this. We have managed to pull each other through.
Another reason this year has been hard is because of being away from Oscar three days a week. I know that people go back to work etc but I really do miss him when I am away. Although I know that If I was with his seven days a week, I would need a break. I cant win really. My Masters is a conversion course so that means that a three year undergrad is squashed into a one year Masters that is graded at masters level. Pretty intense!
At the moment, I am completing my exams and I am feeling very disconnected to my home life. I have been studying from 9am-6pm at university 4 days a week revising and the other days I am revising in the evenings. I have two more exams left to complete and I can not wait. I will still have my dissertation to complete but I feel much more confident with this. Exams are not my speciality and I fail to understand how an exam actually tests my knowledge on a subject. I am so excited to spend some more time with the kids.
Trying to keep up with my blog is much more enjoyable than revising for my exams. I do not struggle to think about what to blog about, quite the opposite really. I am struggling with not being able to dedicate as much time as I want to, my to do list is full and I am finding that my university commitments are taking over.
I usually love to cook new different dishes for the family, but due to time constraints I have been making easy things. This makes me feel guilty because studying does not just affect me it affects the family too. Also, I have been a total recluse, I have seen like no one. I went out on the weekend to see my friends but it has literally been forever since I’ve last seen them. Thankfully my friends understand that this is an important time for me. My time has been devoted to revising, I need to get my hair dyed and I need to go to the gym as I am going to Marbella next month.
People often message me asking how I do it and that I make it look easy. This post is just to reiterate that it has not been easy. I am exhausted but I know it will be over soon. I am thinking of you all who feel the same. I have thought about giving up a few times and if it was not for my family and friends I would of.