Living with a travelling partner!

Jade and Jade Cover

This week I have teamed up with two lovely ladies. Firstly, we have Jayde Chorlton, a mother to two beautiful twin boys and secondly, Jade Arif a mother to four happy children and expecting another one later on this year!!  A three way collaboration is pretty amazing too as you can gather different opinions and ways we all do things. I hope you enjoy it. Please check out Jayde and Jade’s Instagram pages too!!

Jayde: click here

Jade: click here


It can be tough, having a partner who travels for work. Miles is a DJ so travelling goes with the territory. At times he can be away for a day but other times he can be away for weeks on end. He is due to go away soon too!

Even the times when he has one show the effects of working away last longer. If he dj’s on a Saturday, he will either leave straight from work on Friday or early Saturday morning to get there and then he wont be home until Sunday afternoon/ early evening. Meaning that the last time the children have seen him is Friday morning during the school/nursery rush.

It can be tough on me, and it can be tough on Milo. Oscar does ask where Daddy is but he has less understanding. I usually make Milo a little countdown calendar that will tell him how many sleeps he has left until he sees his Daddy.

Of course with things such as skype and face time it makes the distance a little bit easier. However, I do not tell the boys when I try to contact Miles in case we are unable to get in touch. Sometimes Wi-Fi does not play ball and sometimes phone calls cannot happen. Some countries that Miles works in do not have Wi-Fi on tap like we have here in the UK.

I have made the mistake before telling Milo that we would speak after school to Daddy and we could not get in contact with him and he wouldn’t stop crying so I’ve learnt my lesson now!

When M is away I realise how much he helps out. Sometimes it doesn’t even need to be physical help with the kids, sometimes its just help around the house. If I’ve had a tough day usually M would be the one to help out a little more in the kitchen (washing up that is) or to help prep for tomorrow but when he is away it is just left down to me.

 Sometimes a bit of jealously can settle in when Oscar is refusing to brush his teeth and Milo is asking to stay up later than usual. I think to myself, how lovely would it be to go away on a trip without the children for work? At times M will say he is out with dinner with promoters etc in lovely restaurants and I am at home trying to juggle cooking, collecting M from school and trying to keep the kids alive. But then the kids go to bed and later on I go to tuck them in and quickly forget that jealously.

Having a partner working away for me means that I will literally be in bed by 9:30/10pm as I am shattered! I find that when M is away, I am quite strict with my routine, as I want the children to go to bed on time so I get enough time to shower and tidy up before the day starts again.

I know parents do it alone all of the time, and to be honest I salute you. It is non-stop go from the moment they wake up until they go to bed.

Let’s hand you over to Jayde..


Hey I am Jayde, Marcus probably travels every few months so probably works out to be around 5/6 times per year which doesn’t sound like an awful lot really but it’s usually for around a week each time with the odd European city break too. For me it definitely feels like a lifetime especially on the week long trips to the US!

Of course we miss him loads and I can’t even explain how much he misses the boys (and me I hope!) we always send photos and videos throughout the day and FaceTime if we can, although this can be hard with time differences depending on where he is in the world! It makes it harder as I don’t have family that lives close by. Our parents both live around an hour and a half away so it’s not round the corner for my them to ‘pop in’ and help with the boys.

Marcus on an normal day works long hours in London and gets home around 7:15pm by which time the boys are in bed so I guess I’m used to doing the whole dinner, bath & bed by myself and when he’s away the routine doesn’t change, I have always been quite strict with the evening routine and come 7pm I am ready for the evening to myself as you can imagine!

It can be quite lonely in the evenings without him here and it’s hard to invite my friends over who live close by as they all have their own babies & families too so I don’t like to ask too much.

When he arrives back home from trips away the boys are always SO happy to see him. I spend all day everyday with them so when they see their Daddy their little faces light up! It’s like a new breath of fresh air has walked through the door. They absolutely adore him! Marcus will sometimes bring them a new toy or something from the airport as a little treat.

Apart from us missing Marcus whilst he’s away and vice versa I guess the only other downside to it is that he visits some really cool places whilst I’m at home cleaning up toddler mess and changing what feels like thousands of nappies a day! His latest US trip was Las Vegas. He had back to back meetings all week, so it’s tiring for him but there is some partying involved in the evening! The socialising and dinners out are all part of his job. We’ve recently spoken about the possibility of me joining him in Vegas next year so there could be some perks for me in this too after all!

Jayde xxx

Lastly, over to Jade….


 How often does Serks work away?
So Serks works away a month each time (it really sucks) he then comes home on a Saturday afternoon/evening then heads back to work again on the Sunday at 5pm . It’s really not a long time together after such a long time apart.
 Do you miss him?
OMG I miss him so bloody much, everything he did for me and the kids ,cooking dinner haha he sounds like my slave ha, but no seriously I miss that man so much , I just can’t wait to wake up with him in the mornings again and for the children to have their daddy back. It’s been way to long!
Do the children miss him?
Yes , greatly!! At first they did really well ,it seemed like they new the deal and routine of him coming and going,but as time has gone on and the longer it’s been they seem to be not as secure and constantly as when he’s home or why isn’t he home? It’s so hard to try and explain,especially to the two toddlers because,well they just don’t understand. Theo gets it but is struggling not having a man about the house.
Do you ever envy Serks being away?
Yes,is that normal?? Maybe not ,but I do , not in a horrible way,just the fact when he stops work and gets back home he can just sit!! I mean wow!!!! I’d love to do that right now haha but flip side he works like an absolute dog!! And really doesn’t just sit that much ( more than me still tho) 
 Do you find it easy/hard?
I find it so hard and I’ve actually hit a wall.
 
 If so what?
I have 4 children to feed bath and look after and cook a baby in my tummy,it’s very draining and I don’t get any rest bite at all!!!! I don’t have any day where I have no children! From the moment I get woke up to the time I fall asleep it’s go go go!!!! So yes solo mothering is fricken tough! I need my partner back ASAP!!
Do you face time?
Yes every day , sometimes it’s good for the children but sometimes it sends them nuts, so we have to cut it short. I do think that sometimes have that facial contact can be worse to cope, after a face time I always have trouble with crying and asking for daddy and that breaks me.

Thank you so much for giving your side of the coins, Jayde and Jade. I really love the fact that although our partners travel we are actually still able to function and cope even though it can be extra hard work!!

I follow a few mothers on Instgaram who have working partners too so I pull my hats off to you all!! Well done, the children are still alive and laughing (sometimes).

Until next time,

LTB

(If you would like to collaborate with me please email me, educatingmummyuk@gmail.com)

 

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