Gender disappointment

When I found out I was pregnant with Oscar everyone thought I wanted a little girl. You know the classic, oh you have a boy already you must want one of each of course. However, for me this was not the case. I did not long for a girl all I wanted is a healthy baby.

Before the gender scan everyone kept asking if I felt any different. To be honest, I was 19 years old and 9 weeks pregnant when I found out with Milo, so everything was a lot different in my pregnancies. I found out with Oscar when I was 3 weeks and 5 days pregnant so the entire pregnancy was a lot longer. I was older and my body was different. So naturally my pregnancies were different. But anyways, aren’t all pregnancies different?

I am not a strong believer in the myths of if you are carrying around the front you are a boy and around the sides means you are having a girl. I think it all depends on each persons body. Leading up to my gender scan, Milo really wanted a little sister and really couldn’t understand why we couldn’t pick the sex of the seed that Miles purchased from the supermarket.

I have a few older brothers and I kind of expected to follow the pattern of my Mum. I know it does not always work like that but I just thought I was destine for another little boy. At the scan it was very obvious that we was having a boy. Milo was a little disappointed for all of two minutes and then came round to the idea of having a little brother.

When I told everyone the amazing news that we were expecting a healthy baby boy, people did not respond as I expected. I expected along the lines of ‘congratulations’ ‘ that is amazing’ and so on..

Instead, I was met with what seemed liked gender disappointment from family members and friends. Something that I did not expect at all. It genuinely started to annoy me. I wanted to bark back with ‘why can’t you just be happy for us?’.

People would ask us if we was disappointed about having another boy or sarcastically say ‘oh another boy, lucky you’. I had not even given birth to Oscar and people were asking us if we was going to keep trying to a girl. I mean seriously. I felt as though people were trying to push their disappointment on to me!

I can appreciate that actually no one was doing it maliciously or maybe without thinking about what they were saying. Maybe it was my hormones being touchy but I just think we should enjoy the now instead of thinking what could of been or what might be in the future.

For me, having two boys has been awesome. They really do bounce off of each other and that is not to say that one girl and one boy would not do the same. But I do really love having two boys and I would even love a third (Miles- wink wink)!

I think people always think you want one of each and some people see it as a negative if you do not have this. I have seen a lot of instamums with four, five and six boys and I honestly would love that. But for me as long as my children are healthy and happy that is all that matters.

Has anyone else experienced this type of disappointment?

Educating Mummy

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