The five year gap has been perfect.


The gap between Milo and Oscar has been perfect. Some people think the gap is quite large but to be honest I could not of done it any sooner. I completely understand that people want to get ‘over’ the baby stage quite quickly and decide to have babies closer together but that was not going to work for us.

The gap between Milo and Oscar allowed Milo to become independent. Milo was five when Oscar was born and he was  able to shower himself, brush his teeth, turn the television on, dress himself and make himself a drink . Milo had been asking constantly when he was going to have a sibling but with my studying period it was not ideal any time before Oscar was born. Oscar was born a week after I had my dissertation in and just before I started my Masters. The plan was if I did not want to go back straight away I would of deferred it.

As well as physical independence Milo was secure within himself to welcome a new addition to the family. I think this is especially important. Milo was old enough to understand that a new family member does not mean that he is loved any less and he is just as valued as before Oscar arrived. This meant that jealously was less likely to arise and if he did that we was able to speak about it.

When Milo was told about my pregnancy he was so excited and actually wanted a little sister. We took him to the gender scan and to be honest it was not as fairy tale as I imagined. The appointment was quite early and he was not happy about leaving the house during the early hours of the morning (it was during xmas break). When the scan begun Milo was not really looking at the screen, he was more interested in the equipment and the set up of the room. When it came to the gender reveal he shrugged his shoulders and that was that.

I guess I expected a little more excitement to match the behaviour I was seeing at home. This made me a little anxious about how Milo was going to be. However, after this Milo was giving my belly lots of love making sure he was careful around my bump, kissing my belly and even singing twinkle twinkle little star to it.

Milo understood that I was more tired (and emotional) than usual and he insisted that I rest when necessary. Although I could not nap and sleep as I did when I was pregnant with Milo, I could not say I was sleep deprived. As Milo was five and not a baby/toddler his sleep routine was set so this meant I was getting good night sleep (minus the trips to the loo).

Another thing I loved about the age gap is that Milo was able to express his excitement via language and was also able to understand us. Also, Milo is at school so it allows us to have quality time with the new baby (Oscar) without feeling guilty about the Milo being in non compulsory education. Milo plays with Oscar now and understands to be gentle and he loves reading to him.

Having two children not so close together was beneficial for me because I begun my studies and allowed myself to do things of which I wanted to do. Getting a baby sitter was much easier with one child. However, family members quickly remember that as Milo is so independent actually it is not that hard.

I would not of been able to cope with another baby any sooner than I have had them. This way, we have managed to cherish every moment solely with Milo and we are able to do the same with Oscar whilst Milo is at school.

Happy Birthday Oscar,

Lots of Love

Educating Mummy


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