So although I felt ready for the arrival of Oscar and I already knew how to do all of the baby stuff I really did suffer with baby blues a lot more the second time round.
It sounds naive but I did not think that this would be so. Looking back I have reflected on why this could be.
First of all, I was breast feeding Oscar and I was quite poorly. Sleep deprivation and being poorly was not a good mix. . I really wanted to pick Milo up from school but I could not handle it because I could just about walk to the toilet next door. Luckily my lovely Mum was so hands on. Actually saying that, all of my family were (Thanks everyone)
Secondly, I had serious Mum guilt. I was tending to Oscar, who was so new and I was adapting again to having a newborn and I did not want Milo to be left out. To be honest when Oscar was first born if Milo wanted to watch television or wanted to play on his I pad I would usually let him. Whereas, usually we restricted screen time.
Maybe I was being too tough on myself. But I felt a massive pressure to cope with Oscar and Milo. I know women have been having babies for many years and have coped. I coped, don’t get me wrong but I felt a huge sense of guilt towards Milo not having as much attention as he had previously had. I just really did not expect to feel the way I did with my second. I was trying to make sure his room was tidy, my room was tidy, whilst also trying to cook the dinner, feed Oscar which takes ages with a new born. It was a bit much to start with (especially when everyone goes back to work).
Oscar was born in May, so Milo was at school. When the school holidays started in July, I felt this gave me a push to get myself together. I was out of the house everywhere with Milo and Oscar. Oscar slept, fed and poo’d at this point. So as long as he was fed, clean and had a place to lay his head he was happy. We ventured to so many different parks over London and Milo was having so much fun whilst Oscar was still being kept happy. It was my best summer holidays yet!
I definitely found getting out of the house a lot easier and I felt far less guilty on Milo because he was active and was having fun. Whilst Oscar was being fed and changed he was still busy playing and making friends or playing with his cousins.
If you are going to have another, just a quick note to take it easy on yourself. Don’t try to be that perfect person who can stay at home, cook the dinner, clean the house whilst looking after two (or more) kids alone because it is bloody hard! Leave the dishes if you need to. Your children will not remember having a clean tidy house but they will remember that you were having fun with them!!!